So take your cold, cold heart and drown

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 19:56:52 GMT

THis week has been crazyyyyyy heres what happened.

friday - in the morning i had class i left early finished packing and took a shower we got emma at around 1:00 and went to the train station. emma was having personal problems and i saw someone REALLY random at the train station. so we get on our tain and head for the city...when we get to penn station we decided hey its a good idea to walk to port aututoriy..that was the ongest walk EVER....besides anthonys last night..so once we finally get to the bus station we get our tickets(which was suprisingly easy) and get on our bus for teh 3 hour buss ride. it would have sucked had not emma been there...haha we finally got to albany at around 6:00...evelyn rachel and evelyn roomate Breanne picked us up. we stopped at a pizza place than we went to the college and hung out for a little. Dre came at about 8:00ish. we hung out in evelyns dorm room for a little WHICH WAS AMAZING..btw..and they gave us a little tour of the school..which somwhat remided me of the titanic than at around 10 me, evelyn emma rachel dre breanna and brian went to downtown albany to go to a bar. the first bar we went too..evelyn handed them her roomates ID and her school iID haha so we couln't go in there..so we went to this bar called pualies(sp) It was SO DIRTY...the bathroom was the grossest thing i have ever seen..but it was lots of fun..i had 3 beers and this werid "redbull and vodka" immatation that tasted like nyquill. so around 12:30 we went back to the dorm room and crashed.

saturday - Saturday i woke up around 12ish? i think and i had a really bad headache. but i took some advil and shwoered and was fine..once everyoen was ready me evelyn emma rachel and dre went to the musuem in downtown albany it was really funn...and they had all this really amazingstuff...haha after tht we went back to the dorm..meet up with evelyns friends breanne her friend colieen? i wanna say im really bad at names..jen and brian. we decided to go to the mall i stole a hat that i really like. than we went back to the dorm i met there friend sarah. and we went to a party. HAHA oh this was an interesting party..Ther ewas this crazy boy there who kept talking to me. and i did a keg stand haha. i drank lot of beer which i usually don't and i was accually the good kind of drunk where your not sick and remember everything. so at around 2ish i wanna say we decided to leave and we had to catch a taxi we stood in the rain SOOOOOO long finally we got back to the school and hung out still about 4 than i crashed.

sunday - sunday me and emma packed up went to dunken dounuts with evelyn rachel and dre than left at about 1ish. and got a 2:30 train. we wer hom by liek 6. than i went out to farming dale and went to the peir with a shit load of people..haha it was fun imes.

monday - so i got up at 9 and went to liz's at 10 her mom made me "nice plumb grapes" haha and than bre and ray came we got on the train to the city went to st.marks and canal. and this stick store called eveolutions. i got a fake pair of channel sunglasses haha than we came back. went to doms jumpped on his trampoline. and than went to carolines party..that was lots of funi love drunbk peopel when im sober. haha me and liz pumpped dom full of alchol and then set him loose. we than tormented him for tyhe rest of the niight..after that we walked back to anthonys WHICH WAS THE LONNGEST FUCKING WALK I HAVE EVER TAKEN IN MY LIFE....and me liz ray anthony dom and mike slept over there exept all night me and ray kept trying to kill liz..all and all its been a fun few days... HAHA

me and emma are super cool.

breanna with all the beer stickers

the weried bulidings

ima ccually eating.

NYC

hottttt...

tHE REMAINS OF MY BABY...

carolines party.
drunk dom

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 13:57:27 GMT

i have work soon.
waldbaums makes me want to slit my wrists.
THAT IS ALL. <3

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 16:38:51 GMT

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 16:38:50 GMT

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 05:20:26 GMT

so supposablly "all im good for is a hook up...and sex..."

And that im not good enough to be in a real relationship

<|3

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 15:05:11 GMT

im despratly serching for something im not gunna find..in someone that can't give it to me. which has been making me really depressed lately.. someone said somethign yesterday how they were looking for the perfect relationship and i guess in a way im doing that too...but it might be more. i think personally i want someone who cares about me as much as i care about them. so i know when im thinking about them there thinking about me back. NOT like how all my relationships/hook ups have been which is i think about them and they could care less about me...unless i was with them. it just takes lots for me to fall and i have and i have fallen hard.. and this upsets me...and when i think about it i get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomic. and i have no self control when it comes to this person. which makes me madder cause that doesn't happen to me. EVER...i have this constent feeling of empty happiness...and i miss how things used to be..before EVERYTHING changed...i feel like i have no control over ANYThing anymore...everything is just sprialling out of control and i have no one to talk to cause no one understands...because i dont' understand..i get physically sick thinking about these things...i wish i could just see the future and see if everything works out ok. i just want to knwo if everythign is going to work out ok.

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 17:29:35 GMT

i shoudl be happy about this.......

so why am i so depressed.

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 13:29:17 GMT

i cried myself to sleep last night...it was werid.....yet somewhat comforting. sigh

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 04:56:04 GMT

"I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free & a little bit empty."

Dear god how i hate this. i don't know whats happening in my life. i want to be happy. BUT i really like somoene. and i know i should back away and not get attached. but its happening. and ARGGGGGG bad. bad bad bad. sigh <|3

last week tomorrow....fun time :-/

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 05:36:38 GMT

Here we go. im just gunna do this in here SINCE everyone reads it.

Sopposably. there has been lots of talk about me. but no one knows the true story.
First i would like to say YES i am bi. If you have a problem with that. you can go fuck yourself :)
In my opinion. Society shouldn't have to choose who your going to be attracted to. if i think a boy is goodlooking and has a good personality im going to go out with that boy. same thing if a girl has a good personality and is good looking.

Secondly. YES i have kissed boys..quite a few. i have also kissed quite a few girls. again. if you have a problem with this bring it up with me or go fuck your self.

FINALLY due to contrary belief I AM NOT A SLUT....accually i am still a virgin. and plan on staying that way till i find someone good enough for me to give it away too...weather that be a girl or a guy i do not know.

IM SEROULSY SICK OF PEOPLE TALKING SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE BEHIND THERE BACK. if you have a problem with me or my actions. please bring it up to my face. or don't say shit at all.

Thank you. have a nice day <33

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 17:25:12 GMT

tomorrow is friday woo!! lol the malverne play is this weekend i think im going saterday night...its sad cause this is the first year in like 6 years that im not in it. i don't think i've ever watched it before too...its depresseing...i kinda don't wanna go. but i will to support everyone :) <3. and still im excited to see how it turned out. lol i have mad pictures from this weekend that i will post sometime today or tomorrow. and yea i think thats it <333 love.

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 06:43:59 GMT

Interesting weekend....lol

QUINN is amazing...and he kissed me :)
THE USED = AMAZING
random girls who think im hott and give me passes =fun
Meeting the used 3 days in a row CRAZY!!!
Patatos AWSOMELY AMAZING sweat shirt he gave me = SUPER ANMAZING<3
Bathroom stalls <3

hmmmm.......i think that might be it all and all My weekend was amazing haha...
i <3 my friends

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 05:16:09 GMT

snow sucks it ruines everything ::throws fit::

GOD HATES ME AND WANTS ME TO BE ALONE FOREVER!

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 12:21:42 GMT

your pathedic.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 19:12:31 GMT

im sick of being your eye candy ♥

JIF has Caught ON!

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 05:00:07 GMT

OK so today im in farmingdale and i wasnted some coffee so me lis and sam go to the starbucks by airport plaza and i waslk in and thsi guy is staring at me and im like okayyy than he comes up to me and hands me a dollor and he's like this is for your JIF fund IT WAS SERIOUSLY THE COOLEST THING EVER!!! haha and he was sooooo cool:) aww yey! it made me feel all special and embarressed woot!

BEsides that tonite was crazy funn...

and tomorrow the downtown <3 night

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 16:44:29 GMT

i stole this from sarah of course:

Songs: 978

Sort By: Song Title
First Song: "15 on the freeway" - the sleeping
Last Song: "your stories my alibis" - matchbook romance

Sort By: Time
Shortest Song: "soilique" - from first to last
Longest Song: "so longs as we keep our bodies numb" - midtown

Sort By: Album
First Album: "...and don't forget to breath" - a static lullaby
Last Album: "Wouldn't it be good" - last week

Top Ten Recently Played:
1; the killers - "Mr.Brightside"
2; Senses fail - "yourcute when you scream"
3; A static lullaby - "we go to eleven"
4; My chemical Romance - "vampires will never hurt you"
5; BRand new - "godo to know that if i ever need attention all i have to do is die"
6; Gravy train - "tiites bounce"
7; the roclet summer - "thats so you"
8; the used - "poetic tradgety"
9; Halifax - "the next two weeks"
10; Last week - "wouldn't it be so good"

How many songs come up when you type in "Sex": 0
How many songs come up when you type in "Death": 15
How many songs come up when you type in "Love": 58
How many songs come up when you type in "Peace": 0
How many songs come up when you type in "Rock": 103

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 14:26:42 GMT

my mom read all my saved convos on my computer..........

she now knows my intire life...STUPID CUNT....werid and awkward

IM FUCKED.

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 04:49:36 GMT

~dr0wningsilence~

LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 03:05:00 GMT

Hello. My name is Jason Yost.
Now as you know EVERYone has a ipod.
Yet I am too poor to afford one...BUT THINK OF THIS!!!
if everyone on my friends listgives me JUst 1 dollor...I will be able to get one..this is just 1 dollor.! It would be super nice and a very good deed. just mail the dollor to my house.
with a letter picture drawing or anything you can think of. which i will post on my profile :)
I will be in yoru debt forever and give you credit on my site. as well as write you a letter back thanking you for your genorsity. For my Address please message me. and i shall send it to you. it would be tottally awsome if we could get this to work :-) thank you have have a very nice day

<3 JAson

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 14:40:31 GMT

4 days.....WOOO!! im on a roll

P.s Molloy sucks im dropping out <3 have a nice day

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 15:19:44 GMT

First of all i would like to say day 3 adn still have not been caought...i feel it comming though...sooon and im terrified....

hmm....now onto the real entry....

Today is Valentines day. yet again im alone. but i refuse to get upset. cause if i wanted to be with someone i could...ok well thats a lie. im just scared of things..tonite i might hang out with someone...but i dunno. i'll probably chicken out like usual cause im scared it will be awkward and i'll just get hurt. eh. for those of you who aren't alone. im hapy for you. i hope you have a wonderful day. even though it is kind of pointless..i mean if you think about this holiday. theres no point. Why shoudl there be a special day picked out of the year to tell someone special that you love them. Personally i think its a lot more romantic to do it ANY other day.oh well...we will see what happens tonite....i'll update later <3

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 06:43:35 GMT

day 1 of operations aviod mother = sucess WOOO!!....

P.s why do i always fall for the sluts? <|3

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 18:19:13 GMT

IM going to the city and pericing my lip in exactly 2 and 1/2 hours....hmmm how long you think i can hide it from my mother hahah fun times!!! i like this game <3

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 11:40:58 GMT

i miss the summer <|3